Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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