What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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