i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
nutella sex= disaster
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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