Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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