I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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