Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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