alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize