OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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