You can't special order awesome
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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