She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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