Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize