Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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