I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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