I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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