RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize