Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize