Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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