Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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