the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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