Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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