I can tuck mytits in my pants
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
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fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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