I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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