I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize