You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize