Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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