He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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