the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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