Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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