It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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