You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize