i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My feet surprised me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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