The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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