your thong is hanging out like whoa
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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