I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
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We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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