I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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