i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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