First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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