I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize