do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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