Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
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There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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