Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize