Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So vagazzling was a success
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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