i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You're like the curious george of whores
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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