Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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