mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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