She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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