did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize