Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There's even glitter on my cock...
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