So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
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Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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