You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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